I truly never thought this day would ever come. I've been saying that I'm going to be a doctor since I can remember. I worked to make it through undergrad and I struggled with the MCAT. I thought the MCAT was the death of my medical school dreams, but here I am - a second year medical student a day before Step 1 (and I am writing/typing this blog post...but that's a whole different issue).
I am a second year medical student, and I can't honestly tell you why I want to be a doctor. If I told you I wanted to be a doctor because I wanted to help people, I wouldn't be lying. I do want to help people. But helping people isn't the whole reason I want to be a doctor. Some days, I'm not sure that I want to be a doctor. But even though these past two years have been taxing - emotionally and physically - and some days I feel like giving up, I've have continued to press on. And now that I can start to see a light at the end of the tunnel, I hope and pray that it isn't a train...
Back to tomorrow - Tomorrow I will take my first of three board exams. Needless to say, I am a huge ball of nerves. I am, by nature and genetics, a big ball of anxiety on a normal day, so you can only imagine what I have been like the last several weeks. Probably not as pleasant as I like to think I was, but thankfully, none of my family or friends have disowned me yet. Instead, they have encouraged me, laughed at me, supported me, and most importantly loved me. (And possibly told me to quit being dramatic a few times too...) This is my shameless plea for any extra prayers and positive thoughts you might have to spare tomorrow. I know that I could use a few, and I'm sure that the rest of my class that will be taking the test this week or next wouldn't oppose a few either. :)
It's going to be a long day. 8 hour test - who thought that was a good idea? I can't sit still for 50 minute lectures. The good Lord only knows where my mind will be by 5PM tomorrow. And commuting in traffic both ways to get to said torturous test. Fun times. One more day....
P's pretty pumped it's only one more day too. :)
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